A wonderful first blog, Rachel, which I have already shared with a friend. I agree that connection with friends, family and community - and asking for time, help and support - is what keeps us human and, ultimately, protects us from dependency on corporations and pacification through digital (soon to be AI-generated) experiences.
This is something I’ve noticed more and more especially in the last decade. We have de normalised relying on each other, simply expressing or sometimes full on crying to people around us. We pathologised the very basic human need of sharing and being heard. Everyone’s experienced something along the lines of ‘no one was there for me so I won’t be there for you’, feeding into this cycle of division and misery. It’s intensity detrimental to society as a whole but genuinely I am at a loss for how to escape it
Thank you for a better expression of my thoughts (and behaviour). I evaluate my friendships from time to time and when it looks like I'm always talking about my issues and I'm the one on the receiving end of the sympathy and care, it begins to feel less like a friendship and I feel more like a parasite that's just draining all the life out of someone else. I fix it when I can but when I am unable to, I begin to slowly step back, mentally and emotionally until I can find a balance again.
No matter what anyone says, it's wrong for one person to be doing all the giving.
Self-evaluation and correction is a priority that I wish far more people had. Sometimes I think when we are disappointed in ourselves we ignore it instead of correcting because that's easiest, but in my experience it always bubbles back up but unproductively. If we are going to be unhappy with ourselves anyway where we let others down, I think it's far better to stay engaged, correct and keep growing.
We have to care for those we love, and view strangers as people we could love, I think. Thank you so much for engaging with me, I'm glad it encapsulated something for you.
So happy to stumble across this post. The term trauma dumping is one I really hate. It haunts me for days every time I share a vulnerable part of my story with a friend. That fear of having over-shared is so heavy. I've tried to counter that by asking people if they have capacity first. That's usually met with a puzzled look followed by reassurances, but I'm still left wondering if I've been "too much". Boundaries are important, and I'm glad I've got better at knowing when is and isn't the time to share, but the discourse around trauma dumping really feeds the shame that keeps so many of us silenced. Rather than accusing people of trauma dumping, I wish people would get curious about why they're unable to listen. Suffering is so human, 'we live in hell' as you say, yet so many people are happy to just turn away.
it's morning bingo this morning i want to get there early for the free coffee and halal dogs everyone gets there early, but they only have so much until it's gone i got my blue daubers today but they're running dry but today is my birthday so they'll probably give me some new free daubers not until the afternoon special though.. i take my usual seat at the ladies table and they are talking about muslim grooming gangs and how they are in every town and thousands of missing girls and some of the girls get ground up and put into kebab and served to the public i don't know anything about that.. but i don't think i'll be having any kebab again the one lady was saying that the police won't do anything about it and that some of the police are actually involved in raping the girls too can you believe it? i didn't realize all those 'teens' and 'youths' that the news keeps talking about were actually 30 year old muslim men the things you learn at bingo.. her son said, all the social justice warriors protect and enable the rape gangs and the feminists shield them from exposure by using language policing and how they are all guilty of crimes against humanity he said that they're all archetypes of nihilism with a fetish for maoism they embrace marxism because deviance is their natural state he said that there must have been a pole shift or something because everything has been inverted and he's tired of the endless accusations of 'racism', 'hate crime', 'white privilege' 'cultural appropriation' and all the rest of the toxic juvenile vomit spewing from the mouths of the rainbow warriors, the emotionally incontinent and the intellectually destitute who populate and virtue signal from every nook and cranny in media and academia all the ladies at the bingo table agreed with him, so i agreed too now it's halftime at bingo, i'm going to get a halal dog and some taqiya the woman behind the counter was wearing a shirt that said, "i quit opiates thanks to president trump" that's nice! the man behind me was talking about how antifa, occupy wall street black lives matter and the #metoo movements are all communist fronts and seditionists he had a little rainbow button on his jacket that read, "muhammad was a feminist" and it had a little hammer and sickle icon underneath but instead of the hammer and the sickle it was a vaginal speculum and some primitive scalpel that is used to cut off a clitoris he was drinking a bottle of orange glo and enjoying himself bingo is about to start up again so we all moved to the table one of the ladies was saying that 'the patriarchy' isn't brainwashing people against their natural instincts, feminism is.. i didn't know anything about that, but the halal dogs taste funny tonight.. the son of one of the ladies was talking, he was saying that 'racism' has a new meaning he said, "anything good for whites is racist anything bad for whites can never be called racist, black and muslims targeting whites with rape and blacks exterminating whites in south africa, doesn't matter whites deserve it, can't be racist to whites" he said that many people today speak in an orwellian, communist, marxist language "oppressor versus oppressed" they have been told that whites are to blame for all the wrongs in the world he said, "this is a mind virus" and terms like 'xenophobia', 'white privilege', 'nazi', 'white supremacist', 'racism' and so on, are 'whitephobic' terms aimed to disarm whites from doing what is best for white survival he said, "if those messages were directed at anyone other than whites, there would be outrage" but since it is directed at whites, it is considered ok.. he said the establishment supports this double-standard worldwide i never heard anything about anything like that.. they sure don't discuss those things on coronation street the things you learn at bingo.. the lady across from me mentioned that 'leftism' is a psychotic fantasy that bonds people together over their mutual hatred of life itself she said something about the left-hand path, but i couldn't understand it her son said, "the hipster faggots who complain about the woes of capitalism and preach about the virtues of socialism as a viable alternative have themselves only existed in a capitalist society where they have led comfortable lives" he said that they are naive and have no real experience of the consequences of socialism they only have their theories about how 'if they had control, the world would go according to plan and be good.' he said, "those commie faggots are full of hubris and they exist in a world where theory is just as good as practice" they are oblivious of their own ignorance as they continue to participate in consumer culture he said, "not once in history has a communist state existed that did not engage in mass slaughter, and not once in history has a communist state existed that did not starve its people and fatten its leaders, and not once in history has a communist state existed that gave a fuck about intersectionality." i didn't know if that was true, but all the ladies at the bingo table agreed, so it probably is.. well, bingo has ended and i didn't win a thing, as we were leaving, the nice lady's son said to me, "all those idiots are surrounded by, and enjoy the benefits, institutions, and inventions created as a result of patriarchal colonization." i noticed he had a little button on his jacket that read, "don't forget gg allin" but i didn't know who that was my bus is coming so i have to go now maybe next time will be my lucky night?
While I enjoyed your post, there was one part of it that had me scratching my head.
How is it that the nuclear family is necessary to support capitalism? I agree that a loss of community alienates and marginalizes us from our common folk. But the nuclear family does not mean one cannot have community still.
Is it the patriarchal hierarchy, with specific roles set for each person? Is it the Marxist sentiment about capitalism destroying the family (for profit)?
The nuclear family is failing, 50% divorce rates, 50+ hour work weeks for both parents, and children being absorbed by social media. I think this perverse nuclear family is more aligned with supporting capitalism, not the traditional, exclusive family of father, mother, and kids.
A wonderful first blog, Rachel, which I have already shared with a friend. I agree that connection with friends, family and community - and asking for time, help and support - is what keeps us human and, ultimately, protects us from dependency on corporations and pacification through digital (soon to be AI-generated) experiences.
David - thank you so much for sharing both with others and with me. Community is everything.
Honestly, one of the best truths I’ve read on here for a while. Thank you.
I cried reading this. Thank you Rachel.
xoxoxoxoxoXO
this one made me cry. thank you for this piece
This is something I’ve noticed more and more especially in the last decade. We have de normalised relying on each other, simply expressing or sometimes full on crying to people around us. We pathologised the very basic human need of sharing and being heard. Everyone’s experienced something along the lines of ‘no one was there for me so I won’t be there for you’, feeding into this cycle of division and misery. It’s intensity detrimental to society as a whole but genuinely I am at a loss for how to escape it
Thank you for a better expression of my thoughts (and behaviour). I evaluate my friendships from time to time and when it looks like I'm always talking about my issues and I'm the one on the receiving end of the sympathy and care, it begins to feel less like a friendship and I feel more like a parasite that's just draining all the life out of someone else. I fix it when I can but when I am unable to, I begin to slowly step back, mentally and emotionally until I can find a balance again.
No matter what anyone says, it's wrong for one person to be doing all the giving.
Self-evaluation and correction is a priority that I wish far more people had. Sometimes I think when we are disappointed in ourselves we ignore it instead of correcting because that's easiest, but in my experience it always bubbles back up but unproductively. If we are going to be unhappy with ourselves anyway where we let others down, I think it's far better to stay engaged, correct and keep growing.
We have to care for those we love, and view strangers as people we could love, I think. Thank you so much for engaging with me, I'm glad it encapsulated something for you.
So happy to stumble across this post. The term trauma dumping is one I really hate. It haunts me for days every time I share a vulnerable part of my story with a friend. That fear of having over-shared is so heavy. I've tried to counter that by asking people if they have capacity first. That's usually met with a puzzled look followed by reassurances, but I'm still left wondering if I've been "too much". Boundaries are important, and I'm glad I've got better at knowing when is and isn't the time to share, but the discourse around trauma dumping really feeds the shame that keeps so many of us silenced. Rather than accusing people of trauma dumping, I wish people would get curious about why they're unable to listen. Suffering is so human, 'we live in hell' as you say, yet so many people are happy to just turn away.
Love this! 💜
"Fascism only works if we are divorced from each other." Excellent, excellent.
Powerful read!!!
Thank you! I’ve been saying this! We need to share our stories and witness each others pain and struggles
it's morning bingo this morning i want to get there early for the free coffee and halal dogs everyone gets there early, but they only have so much until it's gone i got my blue daubers today but they're running dry but today is my birthday so they'll probably give me some new free daubers not until the afternoon special though.. i take my usual seat at the ladies table and they are talking about muslim grooming gangs and how they are in every town and thousands of missing girls and some of the girls get ground up and put into kebab and served to the public i don't know anything about that.. but i don't think i'll be having any kebab again the one lady was saying that the police won't do anything about it and that some of the police are actually involved in raping the girls too can you believe it? i didn't realize all those 'teens' and 'youths' that the news keeps talking about were actually 30 year old muslim men the things you learn at bingo.. her son said, all the social justice warriors protect and enable the rape gangs and the feminists shield them from exposure by using language policing and how they are all guilty of crimes against humanity he said that they're all archetypes of nihilism with a fetish for maoism they embrace marxism because deviance is their natural state he said that there must have been a pole shift or something because everything has been inverted and he's tired of the endless accusations of 'racism', 'hate crime', 'white privilege' 'cultural appropriation' and all the rest of the toxic juvenile vomit spewing from the mouths of the rainbow warriors, the emotionally incontinent and the intellectually destitute who populate and virtue signal from every nook and cranny in media and academia all the ladies at the bingo table agreed with him, so i agreed too now it's halftime at bingo, i'm going to get a halal dog and some taqiya the woman behind the counter was wearing a shirt that said, "i quit opiates thanks to president trump" that's nice! the man behind me was talking about how antifa, occupy wall street black lives matter and the #metoo movements are all communist fronts and seditionists he had a little rainbow button on his jacket that read, "muhammad was a feminist" and it had a little hammer and sickle icon underneath but instead of the hammer and the sickle it was a vaginal speculum and some primitive scalpel that is used to cut off a clitoris he was drinking a bottle of orange glo and enjoying himself bingo is about to start up again so we all moved to the table one of the ladies was saying that 'the patriarchy' isn't brainwashing people against their natural instincts, feminism is.. i didn't know anything about that, but the halal dogs taste funny tonight.. the son of one of the ladies was talking, he was saying that 'racism' has a new meaning he said, "anything good for whites is racist anything bad for whites can never be called racist, black and muslims targeting whites with rape and blacks exterminating whites in south africa, doesn't matter whites deserve it, can't be racist to whites" he said that many people today speak in an orwellian, communist, marxist language "oppressor versus oppressed" they have been told that whites are to blame for all the wrongs in the world he said, "this is a mind virus" and terms like 'xenophobia', 'white privilege', 'nazi', 'white supremacist', 'racism' and so on, are 'whitephobic' terms aimed to disarm whites from doing what is best for white survival he said, "if those messages were directed at anyone other than whites, there would be outrage" but since it is directed at whites, it is considered ok.. he said the establishment supports this double-standard worldwide i never heard anything about anything like that.. they sure don't discuss those things on coronation street the things you learn at bingo.. the lady across from me mentioned that 'leftism' is a psychotic fantasy that bonds people together over their mutual hatred of life itself she said something about the left-hand path, but i couldn't understand it her son said, "the hipster faggots who complain about the woes of capitalism and preach about the virtues of socialism as a viable alternative have themselves only existed in a capitalist society where they have led comfortable lives" he said that they are naive and have no real experience of the consequences of socialism they only have their theories about how 'if they had control, the world would go according to plan and be good.' he said, "those commie faggots are full of hubris and they exist in a world where theory is just as good as practice" they are oblivious of their own ignorance as they continue to participate in consumer culture he said, "not once in history has a communist state existed that did not engage in mass slaughter, and not once in history has a communist state existed that did not starve its people and fatten its leaders, and not once in history has a communist state existed that gave a fuck about intersectionality." i didn't know if that was true, but all the ladies at the bingo table agreed, so it probably is.. well, bingo has ended and i didn't win a thing, as we were leaving, the nice lady's son said to me, "all those idiots are surrounded by, and enjoy the benefits, institutions, and inventions created as a result of patriarchal colonization." i noticed he had a little button on his jacket that read, "don't forget gg allin" but i didn't know who that was my bus is coming so i have to go now maybe next time will be my lucky night?
While I enjoyed your post, there was one part of it that had me scratching my head.
How is it that the nuclear family is necessary to support capitalism? I agree that a loss of community alienates and marginalizes us from our common folk. But the nuclear family does not mean one cannot have community still.
Is it the patriarchal hierarchy, with specific roles set for each person? Is it the Marxist sentiment about capitalism destroying the family (for profit)?
The nuclear family is failing, 50% divorce rates, 50+ hour work weeks for both parents, and children being absorbed by social media. I think this perverse nuclear family is more aligned with supporting capitalism, not the traditional, exclusive family of father, mother, and kids.
this is so beautiful, made me want to call my friends and ask how they're doing :)
this is the greatest compliment
🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎